I was once an English teacher, and I loved helping my students learn to appreciate the ins and outs of figurative language. Idioms, in particular, were often a hit…like "raining cats and dogs." If someone says "it's raining cats and dogs," we know it's raining really hard and NOT that we'll see animals falling from the sky.
Idioms are not entirely clear in their meanings when you simply look at the combination of words. You’ve got to go beneath the surface to fully understand things. This is similar, at times, to our mental and/or emotional states. There are emotions on the surface which are showing up in clear and obvious ways, but why those emotions are showing up and how we can best handle them may not be entirely clear to us or those around us.
An idiom we often use when speaking about our thoughts or emotions is to “sweep it under the rug.” This idiom is a little closer to its actual meaning because it means to hide something. Usually, we sweep things under the rug because we’re ashamed or embarrassed by whatever it is, or it’s because we don’t want to deal with whatever it is that we're facing.
If we take this idiom a little further and think about what would happen if we actually did sweep things under a rug, we’d find that it’s really not a solution at all. What we’ve “swept under the rug” isn’t actually hidden. It’s still there, and by sweeping it under the rug, it becomes more dangerous and damaging. We convince ourselves it’s not there - and we can even believe it’s not there - until we trip on it or possibly fall and hurt ourselves as a result.
Often, if we’ve swept one thing under the rug as a way to avoid dealing with it, chances are we’ll sweep more things under there, too. Yes, it’s hidden from sight, and so we believe it’s been taken care of, but it’s still affecting us. We’re walking on a lumpy rug. It’s uneven ground. We have to work harder to move around it, protect ourselves, and prevent ourselves from continuing to be affected by it.
Ignoring our emotions isn’t a healthy solution. It may bring temporary comfort, but much like trying to hide something under a rug, we’ve really only made the problem worse. Lifting up the rug and thoroughly sweeping or vacuuming the floor under the rug is the best way to clean that area. Taking time to truly examine the emotion that has come to the surface, recognizing why it’s there and how we’re handling our own hearts in that moment is a much better way to access healing. Inviting God into that process is an even better way to bring healing!
Maybe you’ve decided to begin the process of allowing yourself to feel your feelings and to begin to handle your own heart well rather than sweeping things under the rug. And maybe you’ve discovered you now feel somewhat overwhelmed because there are so many lumps, and you’re not sure where to begin. Recognizing the number of things hiding under the rug has you feeling paralyzed, and so you don’t begin the process at all.
If this is how you’re feeling, asking for help from someone who sees you clearly is a great place to start. Sometimes we can handle things on our own just fine, and sometimes it’s like handing the TV remote control to the person sitting next to you. My husband uses this analogy often when explaining why and how we sometimes need help from others. You know the situation…you’re sitting on the couch watching a movie or a show, and you click the button to change the channel. It worked just a few minutes ago, but now it’s not working. You click and click and click. Nothing. You hand the remote to the person who is sitting a few inches from you, they click, and things work just fine!
Sometimes we need a subtle shift in perspective, to see things from a different angle. And sometimes that means we ask others - God, friends/family who know us well, mentors - for help.
Sometimes when an emotion comes to the surface, it can feel confusing, frightening, paralyzing. The next time that happens, try this:
Take a deep, slow breath (or several)
Ground yourself (engage your senses, purposefully notice your surroundings)
Look at something colorful (picture on the wall, blue sky, green leaves on a tree, etc.)
Listen for noticeable sounds (the furnace/air conditioner running, birds singing, etc.)
Feel the fabric of the shirt you’re wearing, a breeze moving past you, etc.
Smell nearby aromas (coffee brewing, freshly cut grass, etc.)
Taste the coffee in your cup, a small piece of chocolate, etc.
Spend some time in a conversation with God asking questions like these:
What do you want to tell/show me about this emotion, God?
Is there anything about this emotion I’m believing that is untrue? What do you say is true about this emotion?
Is this emotion connected to a memory?
What do you want to tell/show me about this memory, God?
It is often helpful to slow down the process. Writing/journaling your thoughts is a great way to do just that. Plus, you’ll have it to look back on to help you see your progress.
Try these things for yourself, ask a trusted friend for help, invite God into the process, or contact me. I’d love to walk through this with you. Please feel free to send me an email or schedule some one-on-one time with me. And consider subscribing to my blog, where I post lots of helpful suggestions on how you can begin (and continue) this journey of recovering your blueprint!
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